Office Bathroom Ethics, Part I
Today we will be covering Part I of proper office etiquette when in the company bathroom: correct behavior at or near the urinal. I apologize in advance for the female audience as today's information will not be applicable to you.
Office Rules of the Urinal
- When approaching the urinal, there is to be no conversation with another person in the bathroom unless another person has initiated conversation with you. If the other person is a Colleague (see previous post for Colleague definition), any conversation is acceptable. If the other person is a Stranger or Acquaintance, it is necessary to keep your replies brief as to indicate to the other party that you wish to have no such conversation at the urinal.
- When at the urinal, there is to be not to be any eye wandering. All eye contact must be directly ahead. Violation of this rule can result in "pervert guy" status.
- When at the urinal, all flatulence must be kept to a minimum when other parties are present. Necessary flatulence should be muffled with a cough.
- Upon completion of duty at the urinal, proceed to wash both hands (with soap) at the office sink. Violation of this can result in "dirty guy" status. (Note: this rule was impressed upon me at the age of three by my mother and it is inexcusable to violate it due to ignorance.)
- While washing both hands, it is allowable to initiate conversation with another party who is also in the state of washing both hands. Most conversation is acceptable, except for subjects relating to bodily functions that may have just occurred.
Please feel free to comment regarding any concerns or suggestions.
posted by matt @ 2:20 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
i disagree with number 2
-pervert guy
May conversation be struck between one who is use of said urinal and that of one who is washing the hands.
Even though I'm not male, I do have a husband who is a male and have discussed this exact thing at length with him on many, many occasions. As a female I find it fascinating that men go to the bathroom in front of perfect strangers all the time. What is equally perplexing to me is that Bryan absolutely will not go pee if I am even close to being in the same room, yet he's been going in front of strangers for 25 years.
I can state conclusively that he would agree with your statements, but I wanted to share one of his experiences with you.
A few weeks ago, Bryan used a bathroom at a gas station, along with another fellow who had Down Syndrome. The other guy, while at the urinal, removed his pants and underpants (underpants = funniest word ever), so they rested at his feet while his hairy butt was completely exposed. Bryan felt bad, but dang, he laughed really hard too.
Teresa
My friend, Warren actually wrote is Senior paper in college over urinal ediquet. 10 pages of what to do and what not to do at a urinal. Where to stand if there are 4 urinals and there is one other person there. All this kind of stuff.
that paper must be shared with the rest of the world, because there are too many people that will saddle up right next to you when you're doing your business.
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